Friday, December 31, 2010

Good bye 2010...Hello 2011!!!

Today is New Years Eve. As of midnight it will be 2011. A new year, A fresh start. And like most people I am looking back at 2010 and trying to figure out what I can do better. How I can make myself a better person, wife, mother and friend. Because basically this past year I really sucked at all of it. I lost weight and gained it back. I was there for friends then let them down. I put my marriage first but shoved it aside when things got tough. I did all I could for my kids but lost my patients more then I can count. I tried to love me as me, but secretly I hate myself.
This year I am not making any promises or resolutions. I am just going to do! I am going to get healthy. I am going to run that 5K. I am going to make time for my friends and be there for them as much as I can be. I am putting my marriage on top! I am going to be the best Mom I can possible be! And last but not least I am going to make time for me, find out who I am again. I need to be happy if I am going to do anything I want to do this year.
So here is to 2011 and all the adventures it will bring!

Monday, December 27, 2010

Happy Holidays!

Just a quick Happy Holidays!
More to come after we get our lives back in order :)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Oh My Santa!

So Kylie has this Lego advent calendar. Every day she get to open up a door filled with Lego pieces that build anything from people in a family to a snowplow. On day 18 she got a shower to build, I thought a little weird but oh well the family needed a place to get clean. But then day 19 came and she got this!

 Santa in thong with a scrub brush for the shower! Ummm.....That is totally weird. A bit funny, but weird! Kylie didn't seem phased by it, she giggled a little but nothing scarring.  I guess I was expecting a full dressed Santa with his sleigh for the last day or two. Not Santa in his black thong in the shower with his scrub brush. It was very silly and surprising which I am sure was Lego's idea. But I think I would have preferred a normal Santa in his red suit riding in his sleigh.

Monday, December 20, 2010

My little lion

VOTE for my Little man!! Because he is obviously the cutest!!

I formula fed my kids, and I am not ashamed!

I fully understand that breast milk is by far the best thing for our babies. It is something I planned on doing and tried hard to do with both my babies. With Kylie I starved her for 6 weeks before I figured it wasn't working out. Mason it took 3 sleepless nights, a crying frustrated Mommy and a screaming hungry baby before I made the choice to switch. Yes in both instances I felt like a failure, like I was giving up. I beat myself up for weeks thinking I could have tried harder, and I let the lack of sleep get to me. It was only after I caught up on sleep and got out of the "New baby" haze that I saw I made the best decision I could for my family.
 I have had countless nursing mom's turn their noses up at me in disgust when I brought out my bottle and powder. And I always wondered if they understood they were judging me the same way people judge them when they pull out their boob in public. Don't misunderstand me, I am not comparing nursing your baby in public to bottle feeding in public. I am all for nursing in public, and totally support the fight to nurse in public. I have even done it a time or two in the early days with Kylie. I am referring to the feelings involved. That the same judgmental attitude nursing mothers feel, is the same judgmental attitude they throw at formula feeding mothers.
 It all goes back to why? Why are Mother judging Mothers? I am sure in most cases we all want the same thing, Healthy happy children.
 Again I do know Breast Milk is what is best for babies, But only I know whats best for my family. And until you walk a day in my shoes don't judge.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Mommy and Her Babies!

Not much going on right now, very busy with Christmas! So here are some pictures of me with the two most important people in my life!!! I LOVE THEM!!!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Have you met Ted?

Okay so his name is Fred not Ted, I just really wanted to make a How I Met Your Mother reference. Random. Anyway Fred is our Elf on the Shelf. If you have young children i recommend getting your family one as well! He is this creepy little Elf that you place around your house at Christmas time. According to his story, at night while the kiddos are sleeping he flies to see Santa and tells him if the children of the house have been naughty or nice. Then he flies back and lands in a new spot every morning. I thought it was a great idea, and was very excited to receive our little guy as a gift this year. The very night we got him, after the kiddies were in bed, I put out are little elf in a obvious spot that would be easy for The Princess to find, along with his story book that explains who he is and what he does. First thing the book says is to name your elf, giving a few examples including Fred. Since Kylie is not very good about coming up with names on her own she went with Fred. Every morning the first thing Kylie does is look for Fred and what silly place he landed in. He also works great with correcting behavior! One little threat that the Elf is watching she snaps right into a good little girl. For a short while anyway. 
 I have to admit I find Fred very creepy and I always feel like he is staring at me. It's all a bit sketchy! But the kids love it, and I am all for new traditions that the kids will hopefully remember fondly!   

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A Princess Update

So our big girl had her 4 year check up. The Dr had nothing but wonderful things as Kylie bounced around the room. She is very tall for her age, and at a very healthy weight. Developmentally she is right where she should be. The poor girl had 5 shots, and was very brave! Only very little crying, and I think that was mostly because she felt she was supposed to cry. She didn't pull away or struggle. Just took the shots like a pro. She was so excited to get a special sparkle band aid and a Dora sticker! I mean who could ask for anything more!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Trying to achieve true happiness with myself!

I have been reading a lot about body image lately. My new favorite site is the Curvy Girl Guide. I enjoy reading about other women's struggles with weight and body image. It makes me feel like I am not alone. It seems to be something every girl, no matter weight, size, race or age worries about. 
 My question is why? Why, if all of us are feeling the anxiety and stress about how we look and how much we weigh, do we feel the need to judge ourselves and others? We know it hurts. We all know what it's like to self conscious. We all know the feeling of trying on everything in our closet looking for something that not only fits but looks half way decent. I myself have denied invitations, or canceled plans for fear of what people would think of how I look. Yet we all compare ourselves to others. "Is she fatter then me?", "Are my clothes nicer?", "At least my hair is nicer then her!s". I mean shouldn't we all be more accepting? More understanding of other women who are most likely going through the same worries we are?
 My weight is a huge yo yo. I lose and gain constantly. While I am losing the weight I am so excited for everyone to see my hard work and how well I have done. But on the flip side once I start gaining again, I don't want anyone to see me, especially my close friends. I don't want to look like a failure and have them judge me for how fat I am. And these are the people I am supposed to be 100% comfortable no matter when. They are my friends and I love them no matter what, and I am sure they feel the same way, but I can't help crumbling with anxiety at the thought of them seeing me at my heavier weights.
 The same goes for my husband. The heavier I get the less he *sees* of me. I know without a doubt he loves ALL of me. Heavy or skinny. But I still can't stand the idea of him or anyone seeing my "Curvy" figure.
 It seems the only people I am 100% comfortable with our my kids. They have nothing but pure love for me and never care what I wear, how fat I am, or even if I haven't showered for a week! 
 My focus in life right now is to be happy and healthy. I know I need to lose a bit a weight to achieve both, but I also need to not obsess over every little pound. I want to be happy with me! I want Kylie to see that weight or looks are not what make you happy. That true happiness goes deeper then skin and fat.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Sick Monsters

My babies are sick! I HATE when my babies are sick!! But I am usually pretty good at being the good mama bear who spoils and cares for her sick cubs. The whining, the crying, the boogers and the puking....all a pain in the butt, but I can handle it. And it's not all bad there is lots of snuggling, cuddling and hugging involved that I love!!
 However there is one part of sick kids I cannot stand. Coughing! All the coughing! Day coughing and night coughing. Coughing til they gag. I HATE it all. It just gets under my skin. Makes me yell, cry and be an all around bad Mama. The absolute worst is the night coughing. They can't sleep, you can't sleep and with kiddos under 4 there isn't much you can do about it. I elevate, I use saline spray, I pour honey down their throat. I try it all. By morning I am exhausted and defeated, and they are usually grumpy and difficult. 
 This week Kylie has gotten her first bad cold since turning 4. We have no cold meds in the house for kids. Mostly she doesn't need them, and I am not one to give medicine unless absolutely necessary. For the past couple night her cough was not so bad, just showing itself when she first lay down and when she first woke up. Typical cough. Well last night she went to bed and coughed.....and coughed....and coughed. Poor kid couldn't fall asleep for more then an hour or so with out having to wake up with a coughing fit for 20 minutes. So around 4am I couldn't stand it any more and headed out to the store for some cough meds. Well nothing is 24 hours anymore!! NOTHING! Unless I want coffee and donuts, or an egg mcmuffin. I drove around forever in the cold to find somewhere open. Returning empty handed to a coughless little girl who was wide awake and ready for her day. At 5am! At least her cough was gone for now. 
I now have children cough medicine in my cabinet, And an extra pot of coffee brewing for my day!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Meet the Monsters!
Some of you may know them well, Some of you may only see them for special occasions, Some of you may have never met them before.

These are my babies, Kylie "The Princess", and Mason "The Monkey".
Kylie loves all things Princess and dresses that twirl. Mason is my little man who is still trying to figure out the world. Kylie LOVES to dance. Mason LOVES to watch his sister dance. Kylie is my good listener and well behaved little girl. Mason is my, pull this down while climbing on that, rough and tumble little boy. Kylie is Mommy's little independent girl. Mason is my Mama's boy who needs a hug with every trip and tumble. Kylie came into this world with drama and flare. Mason made his first appearance relaxed and wonderfully uneventful. Mason loves his sister and Kylie loves her brother, and Mommy loves them more then anything in the whole wide world!